Thirty states in the United States have now banned gay marriage, which is nearly the percent of states that banned interracial marriages in the 50s and 60s.
I first want to touch on Proposition 8, which is the most talked about and most protested gay marriage ban today. 52% of the voters in California; one of the most liberal states in the union, voted to ban gay marriage on election day two weeks ago. I think it is a sad testament to the United States as a whole when a simple majority of people can define the rights and privileges of the minority. As a U.S. Constitutional amendment requires 2/3 of the states to ratify it, I believe this should be the tool used for state constitutional amendments as well. A difference of 500,000 people was able to be the difference in deciding the fate of homosexual Californians. Although it is a majority, it is hardly a majority. It ought to be required that in order to change the amendment or to add a new amendment to any state that 66% of voters must approve the measure. I know most states had a much wider spread and this would not have impacted the votes, but simply majorities should not win out in a matter pf civil rights such as marriage.
I believe a major factor in people voting to ban gay marriage across the United States is a result of ignorance and bigotry on the issue. Most of the people that vote to ban gay marriage fail to understand that a civil marriage, which is the marriage allowed by government and a religious marriage are two different things. A civil marriage gives the two people the legal benefits that opposite sex couples get to enjoy when they are married. A religious marriage is a marriage in which a couple makes a commitment to God. Even atheists tend to have some sort of commitment ceremony when it comes to marriage.
By a homosexual wanting to get married to the person they love, they are not asking for you to approve of their lifestyle, or to lovingly embrace it. It is your prerogative to think the lifestyle is wrong. It is not your prerogative to tell them they cannot get married. Two homosexuals that are married simply want to know that if they were to be in the hospital that their partner is able to visit them. Many hospitals have rules that say no friends can visit, or that only spouses and parents may visit. Its a sad fact when you hear of a story of a couple that has been together for 30 years and one of them is in a car accident. As they lay in the hospital room taking their last breaths, they are not able to say goodbye to their lover; their spouse by common law standards because they are not married. The living partner will struggle with closure not being able to say their final goodbyes to their partner. Something a straight married couple is able to do with ease. If a couple has a civil union, many hospitals require the couple to have paperwork that verifies this. That is not right, nor is it loving and the action should not be condoned whether you are religious, non-religious, gay or straight.
I have a coworker that is a lesbian. She works while her partner stays at home, goes to school and takes care of their two year old child. My coworker paid for her partner to be artificially inseminated. In 2007 their child was born with a cleft pallet and a cleft lip. The child has had to go through dozens of surgeries with dozens more still to go. Because they are having to pay for their daughter's surgeries out of pocket and with the minimal help of Medicaid, because she cannot be put on the insurance plan of my coworker's, they are unable to pay for my coworker to adopt the child so she is both of theirs. If my coworker's partner was to die or unable to take care of their daughter before they are able to go through with the adoption, where will that child end up? I can guarantee they are not going to give custody to my coworker. That child is going to be tied up in litigation and a custody battle so fierce the child is going to be the one endangered as a result of it. She is going to feel no one loves her and wonder why she isn't at home with 'mama.' This isn't just. This isn't something the religious right should be embracing. This is something everyone should be up in arms about and condemn. Their daughter is not a toy to throw around, or a bargaining chip, she is a child and ought to have the right to live with the woman that has raised her along with her biological mother. This is a given right with marriage.
Before my coworker and her partner got together, her partner was married to a man because she believed her homosexuality could just go away if she loved the man. During her marriage, she had two loving children. In the divorce process, it came out that she was in fact a lesbian. Because of her chosen lifestyle, the judge determined her to be unfit to be a parent and gave custody to the father. Some might think that is a good thing, but her husband didn't want a second child. He wanted his wife to have an abortion, but she refused to do so. The children's father is abusive towards them, both psychologically and physically. Both children want to live with their mom and my coworker, but the courts refuse to hear anything to the contrary of the father raising them well. The father plays mind games with everyone involved and has an ego so large its ridiculous. These children are having to live in a hostile environment with an abusive father that is destroying their self-esteem and psychological well-being all because it is believed that mommy is leading an immoral life. They both consider my coworker more of a father than they consider their own dad. If it wasn't for the lovingness of my coworker and her partner, I would truly fear for these children. They seem to grasp their father is wrong and love people for who they are regardless of what they dad says.
During the presidential campaign, I remember hearing Senator McCain spout off that people can enter into legal agreements when he was asked about his stance on gay marriage. He was implying that people can write wills and write power of attorneys. What Senator McCain and many others fail to understand is that contracts such as wills and power of attorneys can be challenged in court, even after the author is dead. I once heard a story about a gay man. He was with his partner for over 10 years. He had his will and made his partner his power of attorney. He had his funeral arrangements and his plot all planned out before his untimely demise. His parents didn't approve of his lifestyle and hadn't been in his life for many years. When he died, his family challenged his contracts in court. His parents won. They moved his body back home and had him buried in their family plot. They won all of his property and his partner of 10 years had nothing. He had no house to call his own. Had they been married, his partner would have had first say in what happened to his body and how his estate would have been divided up. This isn't right and ought to be fixed!
As I mentioned before, my coworker's daughter has to go through countless surgeries. Her biological mother has to rely on Medicaid in order to support some of the surgeries the child has to face as neither of them are able to be on my coworker's employee based insurance plan. Married couples do not have to jump over this obstacle as they are able to be on each other's medical insurance provided through their employer. In essence, the government which is funded by the taxpayers is taking the burden on the system because they cannot put the child under my coworker's employee insurance plan. If she was recognized as the child's mother, or the wife of her partner, our tax dollars would be better spent on other things. My coworker isn't able to take sick time under the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) when her child is sick, because her child is not recognized as hers. When her daughter was born and for every other surgery she has had, my coworker has had to use her vacation time, something a straight couple does not have to do. They are free to use sick time to care for their sick spouse or child. When her daughter has medical issues and has to be taken to the emergency room, she has no legal right to be taken back and able to hold her daughter's hand through the process because she is not married in the eyes of the government, nor does she have custody of the child. If she was married, she would not have this issue.
Another perk a married couple is able to enjoy is being able to file their tax returns jointly and being able to have a tax break for being married. Homosexual couples are not able to enjoy this perk because of our govenment's stance on gay marriage. Although this is not an important factor for me, it is an important factor for some. If two people that love each other live in the same house and support each other financially, they should be able to reap the benefits any other married couple enjoys.
Changing gears a little bit, civil marriages and religious marriages are separate as I have explained before. I believe a ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional. Most people vote against same-sex marriage because of their religious beliefs. But the problem people do not realize is that we as a people should not be bound by the religious principles of others. I am a liberal Christian and do not believe homosexuality to be wrong or a sinful lifestyle, this is contrary to the ideals held by mainstream and more conservative sects of Christianity. We are not a Christian nation, we were not founded on Christian principles. The majority of our population may be Christian, but that does not make us a Christian nation. We are not a white nation, as most of our population is white, we are a melting pot of different cultures and different beliefs. Why should I be governed by the beliefs of mainstream Christianity? What if the majority of our people were Muslim, ought they be allowed to govern us through their Islamic principles? I surely hope not.
Contrary to popular belief, our founding fathers did not found this nation on Christian principles. Some of our founding fathers were Christians, but a majority of them were deists. A primary reason our founding fathers wanted to be independent of England was because England had a national church; The Church of England. The Church of England had a lot of influence when it came to the writing of laws. The founding fathers did not want this to be so in the United States. With this comes, the first amendment to the Bill of Rights;
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people to peacibly assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
Simply put, our founding fathers did not want the government to say Christianity, or Judaism or any of the other religions out there is the national religion. They didn't want a law disallowing people from being able to exercise the religion of their choice. Therefore, it is wrong for us to force our Christian views or any other religious views on to other people or to allow them to define the law of the land. If your religion believes homosexual marriage to be wrong, then that is fine. Allow your religion to believe that, but don't allow your government to force those views upon me, or any other human being on this Earth.
Some of the words of our founding fathers are the strongest when it comes to advocating for gay marriage. In the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence, our founding fathers said
Some of the words of our founding fathers are the strongest when it comes to advocating for gay marriage. In the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence, our founding fathers said
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"
All men are created equal... if a straight man and woman can marry the person they love, is it not equally right that a gay man and a gay woman be able to marry the person they love?
...that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness... is it not liberty and in the pursuit of happiness for a loving gay couple to be allowed marriage?
To disallow same-sex marriage on the government level is to go against what our founding fathers stood for, fought for and died for. It truly is a sad day in America when people can't set aside their differences and just allow people that are not hurting you or your family to take the vows of marriage and be able to stand up to the government and say, "we love each other."
An article that has been circulating around the internet for a few years summarizes gay marriage and the hypocracy of those against it quite well:
12 Reasons Why Homosexual Marriage is Bad
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't get married either, because they can't have children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children. Because only straight parents raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears 55-hour-marriage-just-for-fun was meaningful, and the 60% divorce rate is so meaningful as well.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed: women are property, blacks can't marry whites (or blacks cant marry blacks in some instances), divorce and adultery is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. Because in a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are are always imposed on on the entire country. That's why we have one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage other people to be gay, just like hanging around tall people will encourage people to become taller.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to a lot of crazy things. Because a dog has legal standing to sign a marriage license.
10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. Thats why single parents are forbidden from raising children, and no single parent child has ever been successful at anything.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of our society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms, such as cars and longer lifespans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays and lesbians.
A final note I want to say before closing this up with my closing argument, many religious people are against gay marriage, because they think their church will be obliged by law to marry same sex couples in order to reap their governmental benefits. This is a fallacy the religious nuts on the right are trying to spoon feed you. Religious institutions have the right to refuse a marriage ceremony to anyone. For example, Catholics refuse to allow non-Catholics to be married in their churches, same as Jews and their synogogues. You must be Jewish to get married in a synogogue. This won't open the door to all churches being required to perform marriage ceremonies for everyone.
Look, I more than likely didn't change the mind of a person that believes marriage is between a man and a woman. Which I want to make clear, if thats what you believe religiously, that is fine, but don't impose that religious ideal on to me. We have a right to disagree about issues, that is the great thing about the United States of America. But I will say this, you can refuse me marriage, you can refuse every homosexual in this world marriage, but that is not going to end homosexuality, it is not going to end the gay rights movement and it is not going to silence us. Your bigotry and your hatred towards the gay community is only going to make us louder and stronger because we are not going to lay down and allow you to dictate who I can and cannot marry. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but we don't choose to be gay just as much as you don't choose to be straight. I WANT to live a lifestyle that is frowned upon, I WANT to lose friends as a result of my sexuality. I WANT to be able to be punched in my face and beaten to death with no protection from the law, I WANT to be discriminated against because of my sexuality, I WANT to be denied civil rights that every American is given because I WANT to be gay. So, you can sit at your desk and advocate to stop the gays from getting married, but I can guarantee you one thing; homosexuals are going to continue to live their lifestyle, they are going to continue to love their partners, live with their partners and have families with their partners regardless of what the future holds for the American people. Although homosexuals would like to have the legal rights to a marriage, we don't require it. We can have our commitment ceremonies, we can exchange vows, exchange rings and vow our love to each other for the entire world to see and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Homosexuality is not going to go away, and we're definitely not going to go away silently. We will fight until the end.
...that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness... is it not liberty and in the pursuit of happiness for a loving gay couple to be allowed marriage?
To disallow same-sex marriage on the government level is to go against what our founding fathers stood for, fought for and died for. It truly is a sad day in America when people can't set aside their differences and just allow people that are not hurting you or your family to take the vows of marriage and be able to stand up to the government and say, "we love each other."
An article that has been circulating around the internet for a few years summarizes gay marriage and the hypocracy of those against it quite well:
12 Reasons Why Homosexual Marriage is Bad
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't get married either, because they can't have children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children. Because only straight parents raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears 55-hour-marriage-just-for-fun was meaningful, and the 60% divorce rate is so meaningful as well.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed: women are property, blacks can't marry whites (or blacks cant marry blacks in some instances), divorce and adultery is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. Because in a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are are always imposed on on the entire country. That's why we have one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage other people to be gay, just like hanging around tall people will encourage people to become taller.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to a lot of crazy things. Because a dog has legal standing to sign a marriage license.
10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. Thats why single parents are forbidden from raising children, and no single parent child has ever been successful at anything.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of our society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms, such as cars and longer lifespans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays and lesbians.
A final note I want to say before closing this up with my closing argument, many religious people are against gay marriage, because they think their church will be obliged by law to marry same sex couples in order to reap their governmental benefits. This is a fallacy the religious nuts on the right are trying to spoon feed you. Religious institutions have the right to refuse a marriage ceremony to anyone. For example, Catholics refuse to allow non-Catholics to be married in their churches, same as Jews and their synogogues. You must be Jewish to get married in a synogogue. This won't open the door to all churches being required to perform marriage ceremonies for everyone.
Look, I more than likely didn't change the mind of a person that believes marriage is between a man and a woman. Which I want to make clear, if thats what you believe religiously, that is fine, but don't impose that religious ideal on to me. We have a right to disagree about issues, that is the great thing about the United States of America. But I will say this, you can refuse me marriage, you can refuse every homosexual in this world marriage, but that is not going to end homosexuality, it is not going to end the gay rights movement and it is not going to silence us. Your bigotry and your hatred towards the gay community is only going to make us louder and stronger because we are not going to lay down and allow you to dictate who I can and cannot marry. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but we don't choose to be gay just as much as you don't choose to be straight. I WANT to live a lifestyle that is frowned upon, I WANT to lose friends as a result of my sexuality. I WANT to be able to be punched in my face and beaten to death with no protection from the law, I WANT to be discriminated against because of my sexuality, I WANT to be denied civil rights that every American is given because I WANT to be gay. So, you can sit at your desk and advocate to stop the gays from getting married, but I can guarantee you one thing; homosexuals are going to continue to live their lifestyle, they are going to continue to love their partners, live with their partners and have families with their partners regardless of what the future holds for the American people. Although homosexuals would like to have the legal rights to a marriage, we don't require it. We can have our commitment ceremonies, we can exchange vows, exchange rings and vow our love to each other for the entire world to see and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Homosexuality is not going to go away, and we're definitely not going to go away silently. We will fight until the end.
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