The last two weeks have been trying, but at the same time enjoyable. Two weeks ago, I flew to Pittsburgh, PA to visit my parents and my dad's side of the family. I always enjoy seeing my grandma and other family members, but this time everyone seemed so distant to me. Everyone seemed cranky to me, and my grandma and I didn't have lunch alone together like I have done with her everytime I go to Pittsburgh to visit since my parents moved there in 2006. I honestly believe it had to do with the fact that last time I was in Pittsburgh, I hadn't fully accepted who I was and who I was becoming. This time, however, I have become fairly comfortable with my sexuality and just couldn't be who I truly am. I know my grandma, uncle, aunt and cousin would not support my lifestyle and could possibly disown me. It hurts to think of the ramifications of my lifestyle and that I had to censor who I am.
My dad took me to a University of Pittsburgh Panthers basketball game against Siena College at the Peterson Event Center in Pittsburgh. I had an enjoyable time with him. The game was my first basketball game ever, and Pittsburgh was ranked third in the nation at the time of the game. Pitt ended up winning the game 79-66. Since I am in the hunt for a university to get my masters degree, and sports is the third most important aspect in my choice, being able to go to the game was a good opportunity to get a glimpse at the sports and student life at the University of Pittsburgh.
A few nights later, my aunt and cousin took me to a broadcast of the Jerome Bettis talk show on ESPN radio at the Jerome Bettis 36 Restaurant. The food was good, but the set up for the radio show is a poor concept in my opinion. The broadcast was in a small room with a window separating the radio show and the restaurant. We couldn't hear what they were saying, and we waited a couple hours after we ate for my aunt to get his autograph. Jerome only signed a couple autographs before having a "flight to catch." My aunt didn't get one. After we went to the Jerome Bettis Restaurant, my aunt took us around Pittsburgh. We looked at the Nativity Scene in downtown Pittsburgh, that was so beautiful and peaceful. I could have spent hours there if it wasn't for the fact that it was bitter cold out. After that, we went to a shopping mall in the heart of Pittsburgh, where I bought a few souveniors of my trip. We finished our trip to Pittsburgh off with going to the outside ice rink in the city and the Santas from around the world display with gingerbread houses all around inside the joining buildings.
My last night in Pittsburgh, my parents had my grandma, cousin, aunt and uncle over for an early Christmas dinner and to watch the Steelers get destroyed by the Tennessee Titans on TV. My grandma exchanged gifts with my parents and I. She gave me a steam iron, because I guess earlier in the year I had told her I didn't have an iron, $50 cash and a chocolate orange, which is one of my favorite chocolates. Later that night I got the opportunity to go to the candy factory down the street from my parents that makes some of the best chocolate in the country in my opinion. I bought some chocolate covered pretzels for myself (which I am eating as I type this) and some random chocolates for some of my friends.
This past Monday, my parents and I flew to St. Louis to spend the next week at my sister's house. Although I haven't enjoyed myself much here, it hasn't been that bad of a trip. My mom and sister enjoy drama and so they fight a lot. I don't like being around young kids and toddlers all that much and my sister has a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old. They are two spoiled brats with major attitude problems. I think I shock my nieces when I correct them for their poor behavior and demand they show respect when asking for things. Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces to death, but I would much rather see them for a few hours rather than having to live with them for a week! I am very independent and just hate dependence, which obviously children require. I'm not sure whether or not I will have children, although I lean more towards not having children more and more lately, particularly when I am here. My escape is the 20 minutes in the shower I have everyday.
I was able to spend some time with my best friend Jody while I was in St. Charles, which was nice. I went over to her house and watched RV with her and her step-dad. I came out to Jody when she came down to Springfield a few months ago for my birthday.
Christmas Eve, my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law and I all got to act like Santa Claus and wrap the presents for my nieces. We had a bit of drama when I asked if Makenzie, my three year old niece had received a Click Start computer yet, because I had bought her a game for Christmas. My mom told me she didn't have a Click Start computer at all. I was fumed because a month ago, my mom told me that's what they had gotten for her. It was the only present I had to give to her. After a while, my dad cleared it up saying they had bought her the computer and I would be able to give her the gift I bought her.
On Christmas Day, we of course had to wake up early to open presents, because Kylee and Makenzie thought the presents were from Santa Claus which made the surprise of opening the presents that much more magical. After the girls opened their presents, I opened my presents. My parents spoiled me, which always makes me feel guilty. This year, I felt extra guilty as I felt ungrateful. They bought me things that do not fit my style. They bought me a vacuum, which I didn't like at first because it didn't have two features I had asked for, but decided I would give it a whirl, vacuum bags, $100, 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of slippers. The slippers didn't quite work well at keeping my feet warm when I tried them on Christmas day, but I am hoping once I get them home they will work fine for me, because I really am tired of always wearing my shoes. I'd much rather be comfortable walking around the house in slippers. After we opened presents, we had big brunch which has been tradition in the family since I was a small child.
My parents and I went to my grandpa's house on my mom's side of the family for Christmas dinner. My sister went to her aunt's house. Her and my grandfather do not get along and haven't talked to each other in years. My grandpa and step-grandma always have my step-grandma's side of the family over, but they have adopted me as their own family. I don't particularly like my step-uncle as he is very opinionated and very racist along with foul mouthed. We had a large feast that is always delicious. Afterwards, we opened exchanged gifts. My grandparents gave me $150 cash.
I think for being a 25 year old, I did fairly well this Christmas, even though I still think I am unworthy of being spoiled.
Tonight, my parents had bought tickets to a horse and carriage ride through Tillis Park. It was one of those drive-thru Christmas displays. I was a bit afraid as it has been bitterly cold most of the week. Tonight it was probably in the 50's and it was misting rain, but not too much for it to be uncomfortable. The lights were great, and the family was great. The kids weren't bickering or crying, my sister didn't have an attitude, and everyone was getting along well. The display was beautiful and riding through in a horse and carriage gave it a great touch. As we were riding through the park, the song Jingle Bells started playing on the speakers throughout the park. My sister had taught my nieces the song, "Jingle Bells, Uncle Zach smells." Of course, Kylee, the 6-year-old had to sing this at the top of her lungs. My mom said, "don't worry, when you have kids, you'll be able to teach them songs about your sister. I was so tempted to respond with, "only if I can teach my cats and dogs how to talk," but I didn't. Although my parents practically know I more than likely will never have children, I didn't want to say that and peak their "interest" about my sexuality. I think they already suspect I could be gay, but I am not ready to tell them.
Tomorrow, my sister is cooking a ham for dinner. Afterwards, I am going out to Denny's, the old high school hangout with a couple of my friends and then over to my friend Nicole's new apartment.
After nearly two weeks of being away from home, on Sunday I finally get to go home and sleep in my own bed! I have missed my two cats and can't wait to see them again and be able to be myself again. When I am home I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not, or censor myself. I got the question, "do you have a girlfriend?" three times while in Pittsburgh and St. Louis. It is always hard to answer that question. I usually don't look the person in the eyes and simply say, "no." I have been counting down the days to be back in Springfield since Tuesday when my family really started getting on my nerves and I was ready to get away from my nieces. Its been a decent trip, but I am ready to get back to the usual and prepare to return to classes on January 5.
New Year's is just around the corner and I am looking forward to it more than I have in the past. My friend Launa is in town from South Carolina and I am sure we will be having a night on the town before going to an after party afterwards.
Anyways, this post has gotten much longer than anticipated. I will make a post wrapping up 2008 in a few days. I'm sure that too will become a novel. But, then again, when are my posts not novels?
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Prop 8 Supporters Look to Nullify Legal Gay Marriages
Several months ago, the California Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional to ban gay marriage through the way it was previously banned. This paved the way for gay Californians to get married. On November 4, by a simple majority, Californians voted to ban gay marriage through a Constitutional amendment. Although I believe this measure to also be unconstitutional, that is not the purpose of this blog entry.
Kenneth Starr, the lawyer responsible for the impeachment proceedings against President Bill Clinton in the late 1990's has stepped in and is attempting to force the courts to annul the nearly 18,000 marriages that occurred while the practice was legal in the state of California. A man that claims due to the California Constitution states California only recognizes marriages between a man and a woman, the people that were legally married during the months gay marriage was recognized that those too must be annulled.
Mr. Starr and the people on the Yes on 8 campaign fail to realize that a law or amendment cannot be applied retroactively, unless it states so in the amendment. In this case, it does not. In most cases a law cannot be applied retroactively, because it was not a crime when it was originally committed. This should hold true for these marriages as well. These people legally went to the courthouses to get their marriage licenses and they legally got married. The state is still required to recognize those marriages. If we allowed laws to be retroactively applied, we would head down a slippery slope that could end in disaster. If we were to ban something that is now legal and then say anyone who committed that crime while it was legal was subject to fines and/or jail time, where would that take us? It is unfair and even supporters of Prop 8 should see this. If this specific issue was to be brought to a vote by the people of California, I am sure a majority would not vote for this, although that is an assumption and not based off of anything scientific.
The issue that really got to me about Kenneth Starr was the fact that he said it is the job of the Supreme Court to uphold the will of the people. I would assume as a lawyer Mr. Starr would have taken a course in Constitutional law as well as had plenty of experience since he has worked alongside members of the Supreme Court in the past. I've got news that may come as a shock to Mr. Kenneth Starr. The job of the Supreme Court, whether it be a state supreme court, or the U.S. Supreme Court is to interpret the Constitution and make sure all laws are in line with that Constitution, not to make sure the will of the people is upheld. If the job of the high court was to make sure the will of the people was upheld, where would we be today? What would have happened to Brown v. Board of Education, or freedom of speech cases? Where would we be with interracial relationships or sodomy? We vote for the governors, presidents and Congressmen and women that we feel will best vote for our wants and needs. For those that are pro-life would want to vote for politicians that are more conservative, while pro-choicers would want to vote for the opposite. A conservative will interpret the Constitution more conservatively, where a liberal will obviously interpret it more liberally. I think Kenneth Starr needs to go back to law school so he can learn what the role of the Supreme Court is, because it is clear he is ignorant on this subject.
I believe the Supreme Court of California will overturn the unconstitutional amendment that currently plagues it, and I look forward to the day when gays across America can enjoy civil unions and/or gay marriages in the future.
Kenneth Starr, the lawyer responsible for the impeachment proceedings against President Bill Clinton in the late 1990's has stepped in and is attempting to force the courts to annul the nearly 18,000 marriages that occurred while the practice was legal in the state of California. A man that claims due to the California Constitution states California only recognizes marriages between a man and a woman, the people that were legally married during the months gay marriage was recognized that those too must be annulled.
Mr. Starr and the people on the Yes on 8 campaign fail to realize that a law or amendment cannot be applied retroactively, unless it states so in the amendment. In this case, it does not. In most cases a law cannot be applied retroactively, because it was not a crime when it was originally committed. This should hold true for these marriages as well. These people legally went to the courthouses to get their marriage licenses and they legally got married. The state is still required to recognize those marriages. If we allowed laws to be retroactively applied, we would head down a slippery slope that could end in disaster. If we were to ban something that is now legal and then say anyone who committed that crime while it was legal was subject to fines and/or jail time, where would that take us? It is unfair and even supporters of Prop 8 should see this. If this specific issue was to be brought to a vote by the people of California, I am sure a majority would not vote for this, although that is an assumption and not based off of anything scientific.
The issue that really got to me about Kenneth Starr was the fact that he said it is the job of the Supreme Court to uphold the will of the people. I would assume as a lawyer Mr. Starr would have taken a course in Constitutional law as well as had plenty of experience since he has worked alongside members of the Supreme Court in the past. I've got news that may come as a shock to Mr. Kenneth Starr. The job of the Supreme Court, whether it be a state supreme court, or the U.S. Supreme Court is to interpret the Constitution and make sure all laws are in line with that Constitution, not to make sure the will of the people is upheld. If the job of the high court was to make sure the will of the people was upheld, where would we be today? What would have happened to Brown v. Board of Education, or freedom of speech cases? Where would we be with interracial relationships or sodomy? We vote for the governors, presidents and Congressmen and women that we feel will best vote for our wants and needs. For those that are pro-life would want to vote for politicians that are more conservative, while pro-choicers would want to vote for the opposite. A conservative will interpret the Constitution more conservatively, where a liberal will obviously interpret it more liberally. I think Kenneth Starr needs to go back to law school so he can learn what the role of the Supreme Court is, because it is clear he is ignorant on this subject.
I believe the Supreme Court of California will overturn the unconstitutional amendment that currently plagues it, and I look forward to the day when gays across America can enjoy civil unions and/or gay marriages in the future.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Dangers of Payday Loans
Nearly a year ago, I found myself in desperate need of money. Without really looking into the ramifications of my decision, I took out a payday loan. I thought I would be able to pay it off by my next paycheck and have no difficulty moving on from it. Unfortunately, I was severely mistaken and found myself unable to pay the payday loan and my bills. I had to continuously apply for new payday loans with the same company in order to pay my rent, car payment, electric and other bills. My debt was spiraling out of control. As I had a hard time grasping a hold of my bills, I looked into a debt management program. I signed up for one and the initial fee was going to be $250. I came to the realization that I wasn't going to be able to afford the initial fee and be able to pay for all my other bills at the same time, mainly because of the payday loan fee being automatically withdrawn from my account. Unable to pay all my bills for the pay period, and unable to change the $250 coming out for a debt management program, I found myself needing another source of income for the next two weeks. In accordance with Missouri state law, I was unable to withdraw another payday loan through the company I already had one with.
I ended up using Google to find another payday loan company. Within a few minutes of filling out an application, a company dispersed my application to several of their "partners." A little bit later, my phone rang. It was ACHLoan.com. They had received my application and were approving me for a loan. The lady on the other line "summarized" the loan documents, talking about the interest I would be charged and that I would not be charged any fees. I fell for it hookline and sinker. I went through the documents and agreed to the terms the woman on the phone had told me. I was naive.
A couple months later, I found myself in a deeper hole. I was months late on my electric bill and car payment. The fees of the payday loans had consumed me. I had nearly paid off my ACHLoan.com account, when I saw my principle had not changed and I was now being charged fees. As I went to log into my ACHLoan.com account, the web site had gone away. I Googled the web site in an effort to see if I could find a backdoor into their web site. The first response that popped up was a Rip-Off Report. As I looked through the Rip-Off Reports and message boards, I came to the realization that I had been duped, conned and in the middle of an illegal scam. Ironically, or not, I found out everyone that had dealings with this company had $200 loans and fees of $74, including myself. The company had a rule in their small print that said you can either continously pay a $74 fee every two weeks, or you could pay the full $200, but you couldn't partially pay for the principle. Fortunately for me, the bank is based in Ireland and I am not a subject to Irish law. When it comes to payday loans, payday companies have to abide by the state laws of the borrower.
In Missouri, a payday loan company must be licensed in the state, and there are many restrictions on the amount of interest that can be charged. On all fronts, ACHLoans.com was breaking Missouri law. Luckily for me, I had only forked over $222. Unfortunately for others, they were out hundred and thousands of dollars as a result of this fraudulent company. I figured out my rights, and have figured out I am only morally obligated to pay back the original amount borrowed. I was forced to close my checking account as a result of the grip both payday loan companies had on my account. The first payday loan company was legal, but my APR was set at nearly 700%! Just a few days after closing my account, it was forced back open by this fraudulent company withdrawing another $74 and causing my bank account to go negative over $200 because other transactions that were supposed to be directed to my new account came out as well. Now not only was I responsible for the -$200 in my bank account, but also all my bills and my payday loans. I found myself lost at where to turn. My pride got the best of me, and I wasn't going to confide in my parents. They are always harping about how good I am at supporting myself. My sister is always asking for money and support from my parents, where I have never asked them for a dime beyond for my schooling. I was over $1,600 in debt and had no idea what to do. I was faced with a major decision. I had a savings account with a couple thousand dollars in it that I was saving for retirement. I had no other choice but to pull it out, pay off my legal payday loan and get back to current on all my overdue bills. Although its not the decision I wanted to make, I am an adult and cannot rely on my parents. If they weren't here, where would I have turned? I would have had no other choice than to withdraw the money from the savings account. Now with my savings drained, the bill collectors will stop calling at all hours of the day. Hopefully in time, I will be able to replace that money and get back on track to where I was before this entire fiasco started.
The moral of this story is if you ever intend to take out a payday loan, make sure there is no other alternative. If its a large enough amount, try to pull out a personal loan at your bank or credit union, ask for a payday advance from your company, ask for a loan from a friend, and if you MUST pull out a payday loan, don't take out more than what you can afford on your next paycheck. Payday loans are reasonable, if you can pay them off completely on your next payday. And the most important aspect is to do your research on the payday loan companies you intend to do business with. I have used CashNetUSA for most of my payday loans and renewals. They are reasonable, although their APR is extremely high if you cannot pay them off by your next payday.
A web site has helped me get the information I needed to combat the fraudulent payday loan company, and it has been valuable to see the dangers of payday loans. Be careful out there, as a lot of these companies are fraudulent and will stop at nothing to collect their debts from you. Know your rights and try not to need extra money in the future.
http://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/paydayloan/forum/index.html
I ended up using Google to find another payday loan company. Within a few minutes of filling out an application, a company dispersed my application to several of their "partners." A little bit later, my phone rang. It was ACHLoan.com. They had received my application and were approving me for a loan. The lady on the other line "summarized" the loan documents, talking about the interest I would be charged and that I would not be charged any fees. I fell for it hookline and sinker. I went through the documents and agreed to the terms the woman on the phone had told me. I was naive.
A couple months later, I found myself in a deeper hole. I was months late on my electric bill and car payment. The fees of the payday loans had consumed me. I had nearly paid off my ACHLoan.com account, when I saw my principle had not changed and I was now being charged fees. As I went to log into my ACHLoan.com account, the web site had gone away. I Googled the web site in an effort to see if I could find a backdoor into their web site. The first response that popped up was a Rip-Off Report. As I looked through the Rip-Off Reports and message boards, I came to the realization that I had been duped, conned and in the middle of an illegal scam. Ironically, or not, I found out everyone that had dealings with this company had $200 loans and fees of $74, including myself. The company had a rule in their small print that said you can either continously pay a $74 fee every two weeks, or you could pay the full $200, but you couldn't partially pay for the principle. Fortunately for me, the bank is based in Ireland and I am not a subject to Irish law. When it comes to payday loans, payday companies have to abide by the state laws of the borrower.
In Missouri, a payday loan company must be licensed in the state, and there are many restrictions on the amount of interest that can be charged. On all fronts, ACHLoans.com was breaking Missouri law. Luckily for me, I had only forked over $222. Unfortunately for others, they were out hundred and thousands of dollars as a result of this fraudulent company. I figured out my rights, and have figured out I am only morally obligated to pay back the original amount borrowed. I was forced to close my checking account as a result of the grip both payday loan companies had on my account. The first payday loan company was legal, but my APR was set at nearly 700%! Just a few days after closing my account, it was forced back open by this fraudulent company withdrawing another $74 and causing my bank account to go negative over $200 because other transactions that were supposed to be directed to my new account came out as well. Now not only was I responsible for the -$200 in my bank account, but also all my bills and my payday loans. I found myself lost at where to turn. My pride got the best of me, and I wasn't going to confide in my parents. They are always harping about how good I am at supporting myself. My sister is always asking for money and support from my parents, where I have never asked them for a dime beyond for my schooling. I was over $1,600 in debt and had no idea what to do. I was faced with a major decision. I had a savings account with a couple thousand dollars in it that I was saving for retirement. I had no other choice but to pull it out, pay off my legal payday loan and get back to current on all my overdue bills. Although its not the decision I wanted to make, I am an adult and cannot rely on my parents. If they weren't here, where would I have turned? I would have had no other choice than to withdraw the money from the savings account. Now with my savings drained, the bill collectors will stop calling at all hours of the day. Hopefully in time, I will be able to replace that money and get back on track to where I was before this entire fiasco started.
The moral of this story is if you ever intend to take out a payday loan, make sure there is no other alternative. If its a large enough amount, try to pull out a personal loan at your bank or credit union, ask for a payday advance from your company, ask for a loan from a friend, and if you MUST pull out a payday loan, don't take out more than what you can afford on your next paycheck. Payday loans are reasonable, if you can pay them off completely on your next payday. And the most important aspect is to do your research on the payday loan companies you intend to do business with. I have used CashNetUSA for most of my payday loans and renewals. They are reasonable, although their APR is extremely high if you cannot pay them off by your next payday.
A web site has helped me get the information I needed to combat the fraudulent payday loan company, and it has been valuable to see the dangers of payday loans. Be careful out there, as a lot of these companies are fraudulent and will stop at nothing to collect their debts from you. Know your rights and try not to need extra money in the future.
http://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/paydayloan/forum/index.html
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