The burden of 25 years is finally lifted. I can't say it feels the great at the moment though. Although I know this was a great decision in the long term, it doesn't seem to have been for right now. In a way telling my parents didn't go as well as I thought it might have. I wasn't expecting them to welcome my homosexuality with their arms wide open, but my dad seems to have taken it worse than I had anticipated.
Earlier today I came to the realization that I had to enter into the now or never type of mentality. If I didn't come out to them today, it could possibly be quite a while before I'd be able to. I didn't want to go home feeling defeated and at the same time I didn't want to continue living in the closet, afraid of things popping up on Facebook that could out me to my parents. The only fair thing for them was for me to come out to them in person and without the help of anyone else.
I really don't have an extravagant story of how I came out to them. I basically told them I had gone through changes in the last year and I accepted myself as a gay person. My dad pursed his lips and stared at the blank screen of the TV the entire time. My mom asked the typical questions... "do you have a partner?" "when did you realize?" etc. My dad didn't say anything at all. My mom asked how he was and he said he was upset. I asked if he was mad at me and he just repeated he was upset. He didn't talk to me or look at me the rest of the night. I'm just planning to give him his space and time.
It hurt a lot that my dad responded the way he did. I understand it takes time for them to understand this and to support me, but it hurts that he won't even talk to me. I'm not an overly emotional person and it is hard for me to write this right now and not feel like crying. I'm on in Pittsburgh for another full day before I head back to Springfield. I hope and pray that my dad will start to come around or at least start talking to me before I leave on Friday. If he doesn't, I think I could be crushed and it may take some time for me to get over this experience. On the bright side, at least this is over so I no longer have to hide who I am, or worry about telling my parents in the future.
I ended up telling my sister over the phone as well. She was very supportive as I had assumed she would be. It went very well. She seemed happy and said it doesn't change anything between us. I have to disagree though. I think it may actually bring us closer together. Especially since we are supposed to hang out when I go to St. Louis for Pride Fest in June. My sister also told me she had her suspicions. My parents denied any suspicions they may have had.
I feel guilty because I could see the hurt my announcement had on them. I know being gay isn't my fault or their fault. It's not my choice, nor is it their choice and I have been a lot happier, confident and outgoing as a result of accepting myself. In time I hope both my parents will accept me and support me like they have before. I just hope they don't cut me off emotionally or financially. I've been through a hell of a lot, especially lately, so I know I will get through this as well. I know this full well, especially with the great friends that I have that already support me.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Coming Out to Parents: Take One
Last Wednesday, I started my vacation, but the day started out with me getting certified in CPR and first aid training. It was an all day event that ended around 4PM. I got on the road afterwards and headed up to Kansas City for a few days to visit Brandon and Annie. On Thursday they dragged me to see Star Trek with a couple friends of Annie's. Although Star Trek really isn't my type of show, the movie was decent and was worth the money. After the movie, we all went to an Irish restaurant and I had my first experience with lamb. It wasn't great, but it was OK. The stew it was in was mighty delicious though.
On Friday, Brandon and I took an adventure of finding Lenexa, Kansas. The day started out with us running late, so I was already a little uptight about getting to my appointment on time. We started making great timing and I thought for sure we were going to make it. The GPS system we were using told me to remain in the left lane. As we were coming up to a curve, all I saw was the left lane that ended up being an exit. We ended up taking a detour through downtown Kansas City. My frustrations were starting to show, but luckily we got to the Art Institute International - Kansas City just a couple minutes late. I was going there to check out their culinary program as I am considering getting an additional bachelors' degree in culinary arts. That explanation I will keep for another blog.
The guy I was supposed to have my tour of the school and initial interview with was busy, so I met with a girl around my age. She interviewed me to see if the program was a good fit for me or not. She concluded as I did that it was a good program for me. After the interview, she took me around the school, which I was very impressed with. The cirriculum seemed a bit overwhelming, but I know I can handle it and do very well.
Eaaaaarly Saturday morning I had to catch my flight to Pittsburgh. I woke up around 3AM, which is usually around the time I am going to bed. I got to KCI in enough time to catch my 5:45AM flight. I got to Pittsburgh about 10 in the morning. I stayed awake for a few hours, but decided to take a nap before the rest of my family came over for dinner. It was nice to see my grandma, uncle, aunt and cousin along with my parents. We enjoyed dinner and watched the Penguins hockey game.
On Sunday, we went to my grandma's house to have my favorite meal. My grandma's roast with carrots, potatoes, corn, homemade applesauce, salad and my grandma made a jello cake. My grandma said its called a Poke Cake. We were supposed to go to the cemetary after dinner, but it had rained much of the day so we decided to hold off until Monday.
Monday was Memorial Day, it started off with my dad, grandma, uncle, aunt, cousin and I going to the cemetary to place flowers on my grandfather's grave, who was in the Navy and fought in World War II along with my aunt's grave who died at the young age of 14 in 1970. We also put flowers on my great grandma and grandpa's graves and other family members.
Later in the day, my parents, my aunt, uncle and cousin went to my aunt's side of the family's house for a Memorial Day picnic. We had great food and a great time with family and friends. My cousin and I kept riding a wagon down the large hill in my aunt's family's backyard. It was a great day that wasn't too hot, nor too cold.
Today was fairly uneventful, although I did have a big plan. I was going to come out to my parents. As stated a few months ago, one of the purposes of coming to Pittsburgh was to tell them. The point at which I planned to tell my mom, I went to her bedroom, terrified. As I got to her door, I could hear her snoring. I went back to the living room and continued watching TV as I had been doing all day. As I looked to find any interesting shows coming on next, I saw "True Life: I'm Out" was coming up on MTV. I started watching and a little later my mom walked in the room. I thought it could be a little cheesy if I was watching a show about gay people and bringing it up to my mom. I sort of took it as an opportunity to poke around. A little while later my dad came home and we all watched the last 20 minutes or so of the show. Usually I would have quickly changed the channel, but I wanted to take it as an opportunity to see if my parents would mention anything. I think the show was a bit much for my parents to see as it showed a lot of the gay culture, such as gay clubs. I heard a few scofs from my mom. A commercial for a new season of Paris Hilton's My New BFF came on. I told my dad that was his show jokingly. My mom said, "I'd rather watch that than this show!" It didn't produce the results I had planned as a segway into coming out, but watching it helped me have a little confidence in bringing it up tomorrow. Hopefully I won't chicken out tomorrow as it will probably be my last chance of bringing it up to my parents before I head back to KC on Friday.
On Friday, Brandon and I took an adventure of finding Lenexa, Kansas. The day started out with us running late, so I was already a little uptight about getting to my appointment on time. We started making great timing and I thought for sure we were going to make it. The GPS system we were using told me to remain in the left lane. As we were coming up to a curve, all I saw was the left lane that ended up being an exit. We ended up taking a detour through downtown Kansas City. My frustrations were starting to show, but luckily we got to the Art Institute International - Kansas City just a couple minutes late. I was going there to check out their culinary program as I am considering getting an additional bachelors' degree in culinary arts. That explanation I will keep for another blog.
The guy I was supposed to have my tour of the school and initial interview with was busy, so I met with a girl around my age. She interviewed me to see if the program was a good fit for me or not. She concluded as I did that it was a good program for me. After the interview, she took me around the school, which I was very impressed with. The cirriculum seemed a bit overwhelming, but I know I can handle it and do very well.
Eaaaaarly Saturday morning I had to catch my flight to Pittsburgh. I woke up around 3AM, which is usually around the time I am going to bed. I got to KCI in enough time to catch my 5:45AM flight. I got to Pittsburgh about 10 in the morning. I stayed awake for a few hours, but decided to take a nap before the rest of my family came over for dinner. It was nice to see my grandma, uncle, aunt and cousin along with my parents. We enjoyed dinner and watched the Penguins hockey game.
On Sunday, we went to my grandma's house to have my favorite meal. My grandma's roast with carrots, potatoes, corn, homemade applesauce, salad and my grandma made a jello cake. My grandma said its called a Poke Cake. We were supposed to go to the cemetary after dinner, but it had rained much of the day so we decided to hold off until Monday.
Monday was Memorial Day, it started off with my dad, grandma, uncle, aunt, cousin and I going to the cemetary to place flowers on my grandfather's grave, who was in the Navy and fought in World War II along with my aunt's grave who died at the young age of 14 in 1970. We also put flowers on my great grandma and grandpa's graves and other family members.
Later in the day, my parents, my aunt, uncle and cousin went to my aunt's side of the family's house for a Memorial Day picnic. We had great food and a great time with family and friends. My cousin and I kept riding a wagon down the large hill in my aunt's family's backyard. It was a great day that wasn't too hot, nor too cold.
Today was fairly uneventful, although I did have a big plan. I was going to come out to my parents. As stated a few months ago, one of the purposes of coming to Pittsburgh was to tell them. The point at which I planned to tell my mom, I went to her bedroom, terrified. As I got to her door, I could hear her snoring. I went back to the living room and continued watching TV as I had been doing all day. As I looked to find any interesting shows coming on next, I saw "True Life: I'm Out" was coming up on MTV. I started watching and a little later my mom walked in the room. I thought it could be a little cheesy if I was watching a show about gay people and bringing it up to my mom. I sort of took it as an opportunity to poke around. A little while later my dad came home and we all watched the last 20 minutes or so of the show. Usually I would have quickly changed the channel, but I wanted to take it as an opportunity to see if my parents would mention anything. I think the show was a bit much for my parents to see as it showed a lot of the gay culture, such as gay clubs. I heard a few scofs from my mom. A commercial for a new season of Paris Hilton's My New BFF came on. I told my dad that was his show jokingly. My mom said, "I'd rather watch that than this show!" It didn't produce the results I had planned as a segway into coming out, but watching it helped me have a little confidence in bringing it up tomorrow. Hopefully I won't chicken out tomorrow as it will probably be my last chance of bringing it up to my parents before I head back to KC on Friday.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Colonoscopy
Today was my first experience with a colonoscopy. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. As everyone says the night before is always the worst because of the fluids you have to drink... boy were they ever right! I had to trade my schedule with Sammie on Sunday, because if I didn't I would have had to call in, which would have caused a strain on detention because we were short staffed the entire weekend. I ended up having to work a turnaround, which means I got off at midnight the night before and had to be back to work by 8AM. I got about two hours of sleep the night before, so I was definitely exhausted.
When I got off work, I had to start my Electrol solution that would help cleanse my colon for the colonoscopy the next day. The solution was extremely disgusting. I had a hard time keeping it down at times, but once I got used to it, I thought I would have no problems. As the night progressed and camping out on the toilet seemed to become ritual, I started feeling nauseous. After I while, I ended up projectile vomiting most of the liquid. The vomiting was so intense, I threw up all over Eyeris. After that, I went to bed.
Today, I woke up and had to drink the other half of the solution. I thought for sure I'd be used to it by now and have no problems. As I got to the bottom of the gallon container, I started feeling nauseous again. As what happened last night, I projectile vomited. I have never vomited with such intensity in my life.
I got to the endoscopy department near the hospital and checked in. The registration desk told me my doctor had been called to the hospital for an emergency and was running nearly two hours late. While I was filling out my paperwork with an admissions nurse, my friend Mary who was in the waiting room was asked by another guy waiting for his mother to be done with her procedure if I was her son. I found this rather hilarious as she is a month younger than I am and definitely doesn't look old enough to be my mother.
After a while, I was finally taken back to an admitting room where an IV was started and I would wait with my friend Mary until I was taken back to the procedure room. I have to say that when the IV was put in, it was the least amount of pain I had ever experienced with having an IV put in.
A little while after I was brought into the admitting room, I was taken back by a nurse to the procedure room. Dr. Mangum introduced himself and explained what was going to happen. He made note that my heart rate was very high. I looked at the monitor and it said it was in the 120's. I told him I had an anxiety disorder. Soon after, the nurse started the sedation medicine. I was afraid I would be awake, because I had been told I would be having conscious sedation, which means I am awake, but out of it for the most part. After the medicine was injected, I quickly became lightheaded and sleepy. The doctor came over and asked if I was asleep. I told him no, and he told the nurse to give me more sedation medicine. That is the last thing I remember.
After the procedure, I remember bits and pieces of what happened, but for the most part, the amnesic medicine was still in full force. My friend, Mary told me that I kept asking her the same questions over and over again. She said I was able to do things by myself, but I was just quiet and very out of it otherwise for the most part. Mary said when I was changing back into my clothes, I started laughing because I couldn't put my pants on.
Mary, her fiance Tim, one of his friends and I all went to Old Chicago for dinner. The medicine was still in full effect then as I was still feeling rather loopy and looking back I don't remember a lot of things. I know I somehow ordered a rootbeer, which goes against my no dark soda policy I created for myself a month ago. Dinner was delicious as always, and I was very careful not to stuff my face full of food.
After dinner, Mary and I went to Wal-Mart. I was really starting to come out of the effects of the medicine, so I started asking Mary questions I had already asked, but couldn't remember. She said the doctor had found a possible perforation in my colon which was caused by my chronic diarrhea. This was the cause of my bloodly stool, cramps and abdominal pain. She said if I have any abdominal pain or any cramping at all to take Tylenol. I'm not sure how they intend to fix the problem or if it will be fixed on its own. I guess once the results get back to my normal doctor, he may call me and things will be clearer for me.
I'm glad things went well. I am hoping the perforation will be fixed quickly, and all symptoms I have been experiencing will go away.
When I got off work, I had to start my Electrol solution that would help cleanse my colon for the colonoscopy the next day. The solution was extremely disgusting. I had a hard time keeping it down at times, but once I got used to it, I thought I would have no problems. As the night progressed and camping out on the toilet seemed to become ritual, I started feeling nauseous. After I while, I ended up projectile vomiting most of the liquid. The vomiting was so intense, I threw up all over Eyeris. After that, I went to bed.
Today, I woke up and had to drink the other half of the solution. I thought for sure I'd be used to it by now and have no problems. As I got to the bottom of the gallon container, I started feeling nauseous again. As what happened last night, I projectile vomited. I have never vomited with such intensity in my life.
I got to the endoscopy department near the hospital and checked in. The registration desk told me my doctor had been called to the hospital for an emergency and was running nearly two hours late. While I was filling out my paperwork with an admissions nurse, my friend Mary who was in the waiting room was asked by another guy waiting for his mother to be done with her procedure if I was her son. I found this rather hilarious as she is a month younger than I am and definitely doesn't look old enough to be my mother.
After a while, I was finally taken back to an admitting room where an IV was started and I would wait with my friend Mary until I was taken back to the procedure room. I have to say that when the IV was put in, it was the least amount of pain I had ever experienced with having an IV put in.
A little while after I was brought into the admitting room, I was taken back by a nurse to the procedure room. Dr. Mangum introduced himself and explained what was going to happen. He made note that my heart rate was very high. I looked at the monitor and it said it was in the 120's. I told him I had an anxiety disorder. Soon after, the nurse started the sedation medicine. I was afraid I would be awake, because I had been told I would be having conscious sedation, which means I am awake, but out of it for the most part. After the medicine was injected, I quickly became lightheaded and sleepy. The doctor came over and asked if I was asleep. I told him no, and he told the nurse to give me more sedation medicine. That is the last thing I remember.
After the procedure, I remember bits and pieces of what happened, but for the most part, the amnesic medicine was still in full force. My friend, Mary told me that I kept asking her the same questions over and over again. She said I was able to do things by myself, but I was just quiet and very out of it otherwise for the most part. Mary said when I was changing back into my clothes, I started laughing because I couldn't put my pants on.
Mary, her fiance Tim, one of his friends and I all went to Old Chicago for dinner. The medicine was still in full effect then as I was still feeling rather loopy and looking back I don't remember a lot of things. I know I somehow ordered a rootbeer, which goes against my no dark soda policy I created for myself a month ago. Dinner was delicious as always, and I was very careful not to stuff my face full of food.
After dinner, Mary and I went to Wal-Mart. I was really starting to come out of the effects of the medicine, so I started asking Mary questions I had already asked, but couldn't remember. She said the doctor had found a possible perforation in my colon which was caused by my chronic diarrhea. This was the cause of my bloodly stool, cramps and abdominal pain. She said if I have any abdominal pain or any cramping at all to take Tylenol. I'm not sure how they intend to fix the problem or if it will be fixed on its own. I guess once the results get back to my normal doctor, he may call me and things will be clearer for me.
I'm glad things went well. I am hoping the perforation will be fixed quickly, and all symptoms I have been experiencing will go away.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Worst May on Record
I've been trying to think lately whether the saying is bad things come in threes or if it's deaths come in threes. If it's bad things come in threes then I have met the three and raised it by one. If it's deaths come in threes, then I have one more death to go.
If April was the worst month of my life, May is definitely coming in a close second. As a person that has a phobia of blood, I have certainly had some bad luck with blood here lately. My phobia doesn't just deal with blood, but it actually encompasses anything that could cause blood to be present. For instance, my anxiety can elevate if I'm near a needle. On Saturday night, I went to have a bowel movement and as I looked into the toilet, I saw that my bowel had blood in it. As I wiped my ass, I saw that there was blood on the toilet paper too. This continued through the weekend. I set up an appointment at the Missouri State University Taylor Health and Wellness Center. After waiting over an hour and a half to see the doctor, he sent me over to get some blood work done. My blood platelets level ended up being high, but beyond that the blood work didn't reveal anything.
Dr. Muegge had three tests for me to do. The first test was he was going to look into my rectum to see if he could see anything from the bare eye. After that he inserted a couple of his fingers to feel around. The pain was so bad I could barely stand it. I was screaming. After a few seconds, he asked if he could do the final test. The nurse held up this device that was about six inches long and a couple of inches in diameter. They would have to insert the entire thing into my rectum so the doctor could look. I told him I couldn't handle it, which he agreed. He set an appointment for me to come in the next day.
I came in today and he informed me that because my mom has had issues with her colon, and my sister had been diagnosed with hemorrhoids and irritable bowel syndrome that it would be best if I had a colonoscopy done. He referred me out of the office and within the next 24 hours or so, the doctor's office is supposed to call me to set up an appointment for my colonoscopy. The colonoscopy will be within the next week or so. I'm on a fairly tight schedule as my vacation from work next Wednesday. I am praying that when they go in for the colonoscopy that the problem is minor and easily fixed. I'm concerned and trying not to get myself worked up, because bloody stool can be a sign of colon cancer. I know I should think positive thoughts, but at times like this it is hard not to think of the worst. I will hopefully be asleep for the procedure, although I am reading that you're not always put to sleep. I am going to make sure to request I be put to sleep for the procedure because even if they give me drugs and I'm awake, my mind will create anxiety. I'm planning to take up to three days off. Hopefully the recovery won't take long and I will once again be on the road to recovery quickly. Although we are not completely certain what is causing the bloody stools, I am thinking I may be having this problem as complications from my kidney stone surgeries last month.
I find it rather odd that I am such a healthy individual, but I have been so sick lately. I am hoping after I have my colonoscopy and whatever other procedure to get a rid of the hemorrhoids, or whatever it is that I will not have any more problems for a very long time. I think with last month and this month combined, I have been sick enough for quite some time now.
I got a text message from one of my friends from St. Charles earlier. She told me that Cecil, a maintenance man that worked at Wal-Mart while I was there had died on Sunday. He died of old age, but it was still sad to hear. It was always nice to see him and be able to talk with him. After I had quit Wal-Mart and I'd come back up to visit, he would always find time to stop by and see how I was. He will be greatly missed.
So, in the last month I've been hospitalized, had two surgeries, had bloody stool, going to have a third surgery... possibly four if the results come back as something that needs surgery, and two deaths... April and May combined have been the hardest and most challenging moments in my life. I need a break from life for a while... maybe if I could just go to sleep for about a month and spend some time in dreamland. Too bad that can't be reality. I guess all of what I am going through will just make me a stronger person in the long run, which is a very good thing, of course.
If April was the worst month of my life, May is definitely coming in a close second. As a person that has a phobia of blood, I have certainly had some bad luck with blood here lately. My phobia doesn't just deal with blood, but it actually encompasses anything that could cause blood to be present. For instance, my anxiety can elevate if I'm near a needle. On Saturday night, I went to have a bowel movement and as I looked into the toilet, I saw that my bowel had blood in it. As I wiped my ass, I saw that there was blood on the toilet paper too. This continued through the weekend. I set up an appointment at the Missouri State University Taylor Health and Wellness Center. After waiting over an hour and a half to see the doctor, he sent me over to get some blood work done. My blood platelets level ended up being high, but beyond that the blood work didn't reveal anything.
Dr. Muegge had three tests for me to do. The first test was he was going to look into my rectum to see if he could see anything from the bare eye. After that he inserted a couple of his fingers to feel around. The pain was so bad I could barely stand it. I was screaming. After a few seconds, he asked if he could do the final test. The nurse held up this device that was about six inches long and a couple of inches in diameter. They would have to insert the entire thing into my rectum so the doctor could look. I told him I couldn't handle it, which he agreed. He set an appointment for me to come in the next day.
I came in today and he informed me that because my mom has had issues with her colon, and my sister had been diagnosed with hemorrhoids and irritable bowel syndrome that it would be best if I had a colonoscopy done. He referred me out of the office and within the next 24 hours or so, the doctor's office is supposed to call me to set up an appointment for my colonoscopy. The colonoscopy will be within the next week or so. I'm on a fairly tight schedule as my vacation from work next Wednesday. I am praying that when they go in for the colonoscopy that the problem is minor and easily fixed. I'm concerned and trying not to get myself worked up, because bloody stool can be a sign of colon cancer. I know I should think positive thoughts, but at times like this it is hard not to think of the worst. I will hopefully be asleep for the procedure, although I am reading that you're not always put to sleep. I am going to make sure to request I be put to sleep for the procedure because even if they give me drugs and I'm awake, my mind will create anxiety. I'm planning to take up to three days off. Hopefully the recovery won't take long and I will once again be on the road to recovery quickly. Although we are not completely certain what is causing the bloody stools, I am thinking I may be having this problem as complications from my kidney stone surgeries last month.
I find it rather odd that I am such a healthy individual, but I have been so sick lately. I am hoping after I have my colonoscopy and whatever other procedure to get a rid of the hemorrhoids, or whatever it is that I will not have any more problems for a very long time. I think with last month and this month combined, I have been sick enough for quite some time now.
I got a text message from one of my friends from St. Charles earlier. She told me that Cecil, a maintenance man that worked at Wal-Mart while I was there had died on Sunday. He died of old age, but it was still sad to hear. It was always nice to see him and be able to talk with him. After I had quit Wal-Mart and I'd come back up to visit, he would always find time to stop by and see how I was. He will be greatly missed.
So, in the last month I've been hospitalized, had two surgeries, had bloody stool, going to have a third surgery... possibly four if the results come back as something that needs surgery, and two deaths... April and May combined have been the hardest and most challenging moments in my life. I need a break from life for a while... maybe if I could just go to sleep for about a month and spend some time in dreamland. Too bad that can't be reality. I guess all of what I am going through will just make me a stronger person in the long run, which is a very good thing, of course.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Derecho!
Yesterday was an interesting day to say the least. I worked the 8am-4pm shift at work, because a coworker needed the morning off to take one of his finals. As I was sitting at the counter in the Control Room eating a delicious Sonic Super Burrito and tater tots, I started hearing the tornado sirens going off. I looked at my other coworkers and asked if I was just hearing things. It had been rainy, but I had no clue it was supposed to get so severe. The residents had just gone into class for the day. Dave went into the classroom and made them all go back to their rooms and get under their beds as you are supposed to do with any tornado warning.
We turned the television on to hear there were two tornadoes south of Springfield. I texted Sammie to let her know there was a tornado possibly heading her way. As time went on, Sammie said she thinks there was a tornado at her house because the house was shaking. A few minutes after she sent that, the cameras on the outside of work started shaking badly. Hail was coming down hard and you could hardly see anything outside from the high winds, rain and hail. As I'm walking to the kitchen, everything goes black. I run back to the Control Room where I see we were under generator power.
The power stayed off for the next four hours, making for a very long day at work. Damage reports were starting to come in on the news, and one of the juvenile officers asked where I live. I told him and he said the guy in charge of maintenance was on his way to the juvenile office from that direction. There was widespread damage in the area. When I got home that night, I saw a powerline was down, siding got ripped off part of one of the buildings and the construction area of the new apartments got some damage as well. I've noticed some damage here and there around town. The Shell gas station not too far from my apartment had some of their roof above the gas tanks rip off, some signs got ripped down or damaged, some street signs are now facing a different direction and Evangel which is probably about a mile or so down the road from here had a large tree hit some cars and a building. One of the cars that was destroyed had part of the tree actually slam through the tire, which just showed the powerfulness of the storm. We all thought for sure we had been hit by a tornado, but it was actually called a derecho, which is a high straightline wind storm that is large in depth and width. It can usually last for a few hours. This storm lasted about an hour and a half or so. They said winds were up to 85mph at times. When I was at work I was worried because I had parked next to a lamp post that was shaking badly. I was afraid I wouldn't have a car to go home in.
I'm just glad everyone is all right and for the most part damage isn't too bad.
We turned the television on to hear there were two tornadoes south of Springfield. I texted Sammie to let her know there was a tornado possibly heading her way. As time went on, Sammie said she thinks there was a tornado at her house because the house was shaking. A few minutes after she sent that, the cameras on the outside of work started shaking badly. Hail was coming down hard and you could hardly see anything outside from the high winds, rain and hail. As I'm walking to the kitchen, everything goes black. I run back to the Control Room where I see we were under generator power.
The power stayed off for the next four hours, making for a very long day at work. Damage reports were starting to come in on the news, and one of the juvenile officers asked where I live. I told him and he said the guy in charge of maintenance was on his way to the juvenile office from that direction. There was widespread damage in the area. When I got home that night, I saw a powerline was down, siding got ripped off part of one of the buildings and the construction area of the new apartments got some damage as well. I've noticed some damage here and there around town. The Shell gas station not too far from my apartment had some of their roof above the gas tanks rip off, some signs got ripped down or damaged, some street signs are now facing a different direction and Evangel which is probably about a mile or so down the road from here had a large tree hit some cars and a building. One of the cars that was destroyed had part of the tree actually slam through the tire, which just showed the powerfulness of the storm. We all thought for sure we had been hit by a tornado, but it was actually called a derecho, which is a high straightline wind storm that is large in depth and width. It can usually last for a few hours. This storm lasted about an hour and a half or so. They said winds were up to 85mph at times. When I was at work I was worried because I had parked next to a lamp post that was shaking badly. I was afraid I wouldn't have a car to go home in.
I'm just glad everyone is all right and for the most part damage isn't too bad.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Boring Date
Oy! Well.. the wait is finally over. I finally met Nick. He was the guy I was supposed to go on a date with the day I ended up going to the ER. We were supposed to meet this past Monday, but I had to cancel then too because I had to drive up to St. Louis for Jason's funeral. It took a month for us to finally meet, but the wait was definitely not worth waiting.
We met at the Mud House downtown. I had a fruit smoothie since I gave up caffeine and decaffeinated coffee just didn't sound appetizing to me today. We sat and talked for almost two hours... or should I say he sat and talked for almost two hours. Nick rambled about the most random of things... primarily about things that didn't interest me. When I would chime in to either say something or change the subject, he would interrupt me and talk about the most random of things.. it sort of reminded me of someone that is ADHD. People would walk by our table and he would make fun of them, or laugh at them and as he talked about different things, I started getting the vibe that he felt he was better than certain people. He was cynical, talked about being gay constantly and he had a rather flamboyant side to him at times. Now, I am a pessimist turned optimist. This means when a person is overly negative or cynical it kind of bothers me and is a definite turnoff. I also understand that being gay is a part of our lives, but being gay is not such an integral part of my life that I have to constantly talk about it. Finally, this might be something I get over, or it might be me being too picky, but I am looking for someone that has similar mannerisms to me. He was just a bit too animated and flamboyant for my taste. He was a nice guy, but a second date is more than likely not going to happen. Not only did the date not go very well in my opinion, but I had to talk to him a few weeks ago about his clinginess towards me before he had even met me in person. Quite a few days in a row, he called me several times and texted me before I even saw he had called or texted. One day he texted me five times and called me three times. That's a bit much for me, especially because I don't do well with clinginess. I should have taken the hint with that, and the two postponements, but at least I finally got to see for myself.
I'm not going to hope to one day find someone I can spend the rest of my life with, because I'm totally content with being single, but I do hope that whatever is supposed to happen in regards to my love life happens in time and I have patience in waiting.
We met at the Mud House downtown. I had a fruit smoothie since I gave up caffeine and decaffeinated coffee just didn't sound appetizing to me today. We sat and talked for almost two hours... or should I say he sat and talked for almost two hours. Nick rambled about the most random of things... primarily about things that didn't interest me. When I would chime in to either say something or change the subject, he would interrupt me and talk about the most random of things.. it sort of reminded me of someone that is ADHD. People would walk by our table and he would make fun of them, or laugh at them and as he talked about different things, I started getting the vibe that he felt he was better than certain people. He was cynical, talked about being gay constantly and he had a rather flamboyant side to him at times. Now, I am a pessimist turned optimist. This means when a person is overly negative or cynical it kind of bothers me and is a definite turnoff. I also understand that being gay is a part of our lives, but being gay is not such an integral part of my life that I have to constantly talk about it. Finally, this might be something I get over, or it might be me being too picky, but I am looking for someone that has similar mannerisms to me. He was just a bit too animated and flamboyant for my taste. He was a nice guy, but a second date is more than likely not going to happen. Not only did the date not go very well in my opinion, but I had to talk to him a few weeks ago about his clinginess towards me before he had even met me in person. Quite a few days in a row, he called me several times and texted me before I even saw he had called or texted. One day he texted me five times and called me three times. That's a bit much for me, especially because I don't do well with clinginess. I should have taken the hint with that, and the two postponements, but at least I finally got to see for myself.
I'm not going to hope to one day find someone I can spend the rest of my life with, because I'm totally content with being single, but I do hope that whatever is supposed to happen in regards to my love life happens in time and I have patience in waiting.
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